i give today an "F" | thornyasarose's Blog

Another Thursday whizzes by without The Troll meeting any. financial obligations in the care of these two human beings that It ignores. What am I saying?"Meeting any...." Not only does It not "meet" obligations,it does not even attempt to participate,make a "donation", acknowledge...I can't imagine the despair this is causing in their hearts.And I grieve,oh how I grieve for them. And I am so drained,so drained from trying to care for All that needs cared for. I struggle to even awaken, to continue this physical life in a body wracked with illness,disease,pain...But I HAVE to be victorious. I HAVE to. How else will they ever survive to even be able to have the opportunity to meet,greet and over come obstacles? But,today,well today gets (along with ME) a Big Fat "F". Not only did I fail to rise to the occasion,but I failed to take care of the stacked up bills,the paper work for the Child Support Agency,or our spiritual needs. I didn't even TRY to get up and shower to get Holly and I to church. I used the lack of gas money as an EXCUSE (it can not be even called a "reason") for not crawling out of bed.And just left Holly to enjoy Sara's visit without any spiritual guidance. They both need it-shame on me for not seeing that they received what they need more than anything. And shame on me for not feeling even worse than this.Why do I think it is okay to abuse the grace of my Lord? I should be willing to crawl to His House. And to think, others,even today,give their very lives to acknowledge Him. Indeed, I am without a doubt, amongst His least. And don't even deserve THAT honorable position.